Oh Waiter, Check-----me out.

Girl had a lovely dinner with two partners in crime at a somewhat upscale Americanized Mexican dining establishment. Having been a server herself, she immediately noted the table had no napkins or silverwares. The atmosphere, food, and of course, the company, made up for the service inadequacies.

The waiter was a little plain, but he was tall, lean, and refilled Girl's Coca-Cola in an impressive and timely fashion.

Ages after the meal, the three confidants were still talking away, when the waiter came to clear the dishes. Check had been paid.

Friend #2: "...and it's not like we...screw each other on the table at work, or anything."

the waiter laughs, and all the girls follow suit.

Friend #1: "No need to censor yourself for him!"

Friend #2: "I did censor myself. I was going to say 'fucking' each other on the table."

Waiter: "It's alright. You can say fucking in front of me. I'm a big boy, I'm old enough to handle it."

Enchanté, sir Waiter, and please elaborate on what exactly you're old enough to handle.

Lesson One

submerged wood

NOUN.

1. Heavily forested area that is flooded

2. a clothed male suffering from engorged genitalia

example:

1. "Did you see all of that submerged wood after the storm?"

"It was so destructive."

2. "Did you see Kenny's submerged wood at dinner?"

"Yes and I was not impressed."

Never Were There Two More In Sync

Today, after one of Girl's afternoon classes (actually the one with the Boy from the Hallucination post), Girl, in a common fashion, had to use the restroom. She had been in a funk all day and had drunk two full bottles of water in the hours after noon.

Doing her business, Girl took her time, for there was no need to rush. She methodically washed her hands and grabbed a paper towel (to add to the pretentious air of Girl, she likes to use the dryer in front of others who opt for paper towels).

In the seconds that passed between walking to the door and opening it, Girl heard the sound of the boys room door next door open. She popped herself out only to find that Boy (the one she hallucinated) had just popped out of the restroom as well. He was facing the opposite direction, with his back to her, and had a pair of dark headphones in his "covered-with-disheveled-hair" ears.

And this was lucky for Girl, who unintentionally exclaimed, "Oooohhhhhh!" at the sight of Boy. The noise was not in her head, evidenced by someone down the hall turning and looking on the sight with amusement. Boy did not turn around, however, and walked on his way down the stairs and to what is probably an amazing and meaningful life.

Girl plopped down on a decades old, uncomfortable chair to regain her composure.

For reasons undisclosed in this blog, Girl has named this Boy Peter Johnson. There is no possibility that this is his real name. If it is--well, folks, that makes it fate.

First comes Pre-Historic birds, then restroom syncing, and then four months later, making out on your best friend's couch. A word to the wise: at the first sound of a "CA-KAW!" run for the hills...because after that...there's no telling where you might be destined to run into each other. Take Girl's word for it.

Morale

morale

–noun

emotional or mental condition with respect to cheerfulness, confidence, zeal, etc., esp. in the face of opposition, hardship, etc.: the morale of the troops.

The thing Girl uses to boost her "MORALE" is making her question her sanity, as of late. Does the motivation for the thing invariably affect the attaining of it?

Can Girl's thinking really be healthy? If it will lead to better outcomes and fulfillment?

Does the end justify the means?

Two words: potato salad.

If I Hallucinate It, It Must Be

Today Girl was walking out of (hopefully) the last mathematical class she will ever have to take, when she happened to see, upon a quick glance, a boy of interest. This Boy, a common sight in one of her Tuesday/Thursday classes, was actually not there, on the brick walkway, upon further examination.

Girl looked away in hurried disappointment.

A few paces down the walk, Girl looks up to see Boy walking toward her. How terribly confusing to hallucinate a person and then see them not ten seconds later!

To make matters worse for Girl, after Boy was a few paces past, a somewhat Pre-Historic natured bird made a loud "CA-KAW!" causing her to look back, only to meet the sight of Boy doing the same.

AwK = Awkward on the Table of Elements -- And Girl breathes it like oxygen, let me tell ya.